I'm drifting further and further away from the determination to study on. It's not that i don't give in my all. I did. I gave and tried my hardest. And the only thing my dad could said was "I know you did tried." We argued occasionally when i started verbalised out my thoughts of throwing the towel in. Calling it quits to the current education. Given my current condition, I don't think i can carry on anymore longer..

I can't call the shots of when i want to take a break. Every minute & moment, i've to work twice as hard one sem after another. I've to practically be up on my toes every passing day to keep myself to everyone's standard. You know what they say. You don't expect the society to change & accomodate to you. You change and accomodate yourself to it. I know some friends who didn't even qualified to proceed to poly, is envious of me. They say if i'm in your shoes, i would be very happy and grateful. Yes i know. Thats one of my last few lingering shreds of determination that lead me to reconsider. And another? The exorbitant amount that i've to fork out for each half year and of course the optional elective fees.

Going on to another current issue. I did my first paper today. I didn't even have enough time to finish up the last question. It bloody hell cost me 16 marks. I just hope and crossed my fingers that i'll pass and proceed on.
Like my friends said its just one year. I hope i can stay till then.